It will be ok

Tears fill my eyes as I look up at the sky but I refuse to let myself cry.

I refuse to feel bad for myself anymore, as my mother said why live in the past if we are in the future.

But the fact of the matter is we need the past to not only build the future but to learn from it.

Scares left unseen to others eyes but will always be known by me. I have gotten so good at pretending everything is ok I'm starting to believe it. People look at me and see nothing wrong, they see a simple smile plastered on my face reminding them of good times. They do not see eyes that fight back pain and tears. They see in my walk a since of pride and togetherness instead of the weakness and insecruities in every step.

But I will left my head up and soon everything is ok will not be an act on the t.v. of my life, It will nolonger be pretending.

I will place my fears, and scares at the door

Pretty woman

I write in you with words of a child, with imagination not presented in these words I use. The vision I create has no life, no meaning beyond this page. I will rewrite the best thinng I have ever written. " A skinny woman the color of an easter egg dyed in the sun and washed from cotton clouds and pink lilies entered the room. Hair of chocolate brown at the roots faded to dirty blonde tickled her elbows, eyes of murky brown hiding behind gray contacts and eye lashes curled to perfection. Lipstick, cherry red spread on thick to cover the cuts in her lips, and cheeks powered pink because rosy red wasn't her color. All that was noticed was a faint white smile that disappered in the mirror, and a coke bottle shape she didn't believe she had; but she still hid her beauti her true beauti from the world. One day it will all disappear, the lights will dim and her number will be called and a question will arise. Did she live just to die?" Those words I had written not to long ago with no intetion of being this woman and even to this day I look at these words to remind myself I will never be this woman. If you are looking for some sober story about how my life is hard ns unsastainable I don't have one, but my story is just as important as the next.

chillin wit one of ma besties

A's are the bizzle

jus chillin

Just goofin off

Friends

changing

Blackest night a wind so strong, My eyes glow red wit anger.

Ashamed to know the man I knew so long, is now a stranger

But I'm not disappointed, and my rage is not for him.

See it was I who changed and broke the line that keep us tied together

I swore to him no matter what we'd always have each other.

But times got hard for me and him are life was quick to change

I had to move and change with it, I didn't stay the same

So my anger now I hold in my heart is only toward myself.

For breaking our plan and pushing aside the person close to me

if you are here I want to say that I am so sorry.

When you needed me most I was not at my post, but please can you for give me?